moving ON with *MY* life..

i've been looking at vehicles to purchase since i haven't even purchased a vehicle that I can drive or a house with my trust yet and amy let me know that my trust will be non-existant in a few years. so this trust ULTIMATELY hasn't helped ME become successful in life. so i messaged a few people on facebook marketplace since that's what an ics worker suggested to me (i'm assuming other clients from this ics program got their vehicles off there). i told my case manager about ics helping me to look for vehicles to buy so i'd have a vehicle for my behind-the-wheel test and she encouraged the idea. so any ics workers who seem to think they can take advantage of my brain injury and services- so they only help me when ics gets paid more- can just focus on everyone else (like they usually do) and just leave me to get my own shit since they obviously don't REALLY care about anything but attempting to take advantage of my situation.
i seen that the lady i spoke to yesterday (i think) about scheduling my first day of work left me a message yesterday. i called her back and left her a message but now that i think about it, i may have spoke to her immediately after she left the message and she might've told me to disregard it since we scheduled a time to meet.. my memory sucks though- so i left her a message just in case i didn't speak to her. she didn't seem like the kind of person who'd get annoyed by me forgetting that she called and leaving a message but i guess ya never know these days. she didn't think i was crazy or a trouble maker after i told her that i tend to get in trouble if i have too much time on my hands and i get bored- so i'm probably okay. i have to learn when it's appropriate to say certain things. i was looking at my med list yesterday when i went to the doctor and i wasn't aware that i was on a med for anxiety. that may have been the med they gave me last time i had surgery because i was so frustrated with my family.. i thought they were only giving me one dose but i'm not sure why it's still in my meds. it DOES piss me off that i need to be drugged up because my family is so negligent but controlling (except joe and jay). if you really care as much as you try to insinuate you do- help me to be a SUCCESSFUL AND TRULY SATISFIED, HAPPY PERSON NOT JUST FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE EITHER SINCE THIS IS MY LIFE- NOT YOURS. just because you never got outta this place- doesn't mean that you should be weights on everyone else trying to successfully and safely live their own fuckin lives. and helping me be succesful and truly happy does NOT include going BACK in my progress and mindlessly hauling my ass to the courage center where they DON'T help anyone but THEIRSELVES. if you really fucking cared about me as much as you try to insinuate you do- YOU'D COMMUNICATE WITH ME AND SEE WHAT I WANT FOR MY LIFE TO MAKE ME HAPPY. my psychologist told me the problem with my family is that they don't know how to communicate.. she said i did a good job of advocating for myself and i wasn't like my family who assumes that if you just sweep your problems under the rug (so to speak)- they'll go away and/or solve themself. that's exactly why i refuse to keep letting my family TAKE ADVANTAGE of me, so i can be JUST like THEM since MISERY LOVES COMPANY. (except joe) if i happen to be wrong about any of this- THEY HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO PROVE ME WRONG AND ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE WITH ME. i'm not talking about what's going on with your damn dogs either, mom. understand where I am coming from and the reason why i do/say the things i do.. IF YOU CARED SO MUCH ABOUT ME- YOU'D ACTUALLY TRY TO UNDERSTAND. oh look! another reason why i want to gtfo here! my family refuses to be empathetic and understanding with me.